Still plugging away at THE BOOK. I’m excited and scared shitless at the same time because I still have to draw the damned thing and the thought of it causes me to shut down because truthfully, I’m not entirely sure I can draw it. It sort of feels like I have thousands of pieces of this really, really awesome… thingy and no idea how to fit any of it together. It’s complicated and daunting and it’s starting to drive me nuts. I have this thing inside me with no way of getting it out.
I think I’m kinda having nightmares about it. I dreamed last night that I was back in high school (not my actual high school, thank god. This one was some sort of airborne… lecture hall.) and we were working on some worksheet and all of a sudden we were being called upon to present a project of some kind and when I got called upon I couldn’t move or speak because I didn’t know what the hell the teacher was talking about. Project? What project? When was this assigned? I had no idea. The teacher was furious with me and told me to see her after class…
And that’s when she stabbed me through the chest with her freaking HAND. If that doesn’t sound like an anxiety dream, I don’t know what is.
Sorry for making you all read this. I get frustrated and vent/whinge/whine too much and I think I’m starting to push people away as a result. I need to get a grip.